‘Up in the air’✈⛅

‘And I am back,’ was the first thought I had in my mind after I passed the ridiculous immigration 🛂 nonsense of LHR/Heathrow airport. I have done this huge mistake of booking a ticket that lands me first at Heathrow rather than Edinburgh.

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For my non-white (or white with shitty passports) readers, avoid landing in England at all costs. Better land in Scotland or Ireland 🇨🇮then go to England. As I promised that I will write this blog with honesty, I am not going to sugarcoat anything.

You may have watched the film Up in the air with George Clooney. There are a few scenes where he teach Anna Kendrick how to make her airport transitions easy. Well not only people like him have tricks in the airport. I do too, it is something that is unique to each and every person who travels a lot. You know what airport to choose to land in 🛬(I did a mistake with LHR crowd) and where to go and what to do while in airport.

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Now, my tricks, made public now 😂! When choosing an immigration officer🛂, you must find the right one to examine your papers. I usually go for men👮! Because nowadays women have to prove themselves thus they are harder on themselves and won’t let the simplest thing slide. Second, always be prepared with all your documents, and be sure to answer simple truthful short and clear answers. When you first enter the airport from the areoplane, follow the signs☡, and make sure you look around very thoroughly for any signs of dos ✔and don’ts🚫. If you require to fill out an immigration form, do it on board the flight. It helps with a quick pass ⏲through the lines. Avoid being behind families and people who look like they will take a long time⏳. Finally, be safe and have safe travels.  Ah one more thing before I forget, usually have a suitable attire👕 for the airport that does not having pockets or require you to spend long in security🛃🛄! I usually wear a one piece dress without pockets👗.

As you can see here haha2017-02-19-21-41-42

Well, I surely picked the wrong day to land in London, it seemed that the airport was in such a dilemma with me caged behind the box, yet again, like an animal 🐒for people to look at. I guess I make a beautiful animal🐵 and they cannot help it. But the box had a few more people than I usually experienced.Screenshot_20170324-161911

Funnily enough, the black officer I chose, was the wrong choice😑. If anything I should have gone to the Southeast Asian one 😆. The black one had to ‘ask for permission’ from the ‘white’ boss, no joke! While I sat like a monkey behind the cage, the ‘white’ boss comes, takes a look at me 👀 in my yellow dress and says, so clear as I hear👂, “ah she looks harmless, let her pass.” Christ on a Cross🕇🕆 vay thank you! I do not even understand why🤔 I would be harmful! How can anyone voluntarily saves humans for a living⛑👷 be harmful! Anyway I can complain until tomorrow about those annoying remarks😜 or of the black officer’s behaviour! Reporting me as harmful☠! Yet I do not blame them! To them I look like the crazy brainwashed maniacs😫! Except I am in a beautiful dress! And look suspiciously innocent.

I have yet to pass in one airport for the past 3 years without being caged like a monkey 🐒 and asked ridiculous questions! Or sat there and heard so many insults! It just escalated ☝️ to a horrid level in Manchester’s airport! The immigration officer called me a whore and accused me of being a medic for whores and pimps in Edinburgh!  The officer next to him was so in shock he froze with my panties 👙 in his hands (He was searching my bags) and looked at him then me 👀 in such worry of what will happen next for what will come out of my diplomatic mouth.

The rude officer better thank whoever/whichever diety he worships I did not report him! I am quite the calm poker face diplomatic English woman when I am in such situations. 

I just looked at him and said: that is quite rude, for you to call someone with a noble job! For all you know you could just stroke right here and no one in this room will be able to save you but me. 

Surely, 😒he just threw my things on the floor and said ah well. 
How I sometimes feel passing airport (especially American ones 😂) immigration.2017-03-24 15.18.46

Regardless, I landed🛬 in my beautiful city💖, my Edinburgh. Snapchat-493825664

With a few windy bumps🌬🌬🌪 that made the flight-attendant clam down the passengers 😂. The wind we have here is amazing I tell you. The poor pilot could not control the airplane, and we all felt it.​

 
Travel smart my cakes 🍰 sorry I am writing this post while hungry for cakes 🍰😆 everything looks like a cake now 

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2 thoughts on “‘Up in the air’✈⛅

  1. Very well written! I wish I could do as much traveling as you do. Seems like a pretty awesome life. If I ever fly to Manchester somebody is getting knocked out lol.

    Liked by 1 person

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